Real power.

Alicia Marie Fruin explores the nature of power.

Alicia Marie Fruin

So what is real power, what is the nature of power? How do we access power? When do we feel powerless? Is there a difference between real power and conventional power?

Dwelling in these questions has in and of itself positively affected my work, my life, my purpose. When I ask these questions, I am filled with insights into my own internal and external motivations. It is my intention to share these insights here and to leave you knowing that you already have all that it takes to be authentically powerful!

It seems part of our confusion about power is in the different meanings we have for power and how we view power.

So, ‘what is power’? The conventional view is typically expressed as control, authority, status or strength. Often, when using the word power, we have in mind the idea of controlling the actions of someone or something. We speak of will power or controlling our behavior or controlling our children etcetera.

In George Orwell’s 1984, the main character Winston is considering the control-based society in which he lives and comes to the realization ‘they can make you do and say anything but they can’t make you believe it’. So perhaps power, viewed as control is an illusion.

Frequently we mean strength when we use the word power. We refer to physically strong people as powerful. We might call a nation powerful based on its military strength. In other words, the ability to inflict harm by a person, group or nation. At its very core all this is, is intimidation, bullying and it generates fear. So perhaps power, as strength is an illusion.

Power as authority? Most of our society is set up as such. We all know that just because someone has authority, it does not give them power. How many figureheads have we seen in large companies? How many times have we ‘pulled rank’ on our children ‘because I said so!’ just to have it backfire on us later.

What we have learned and often teach our children is that by virtue of position, people in authority have power. For example; teachers, parents, and police officers. Power through authority, an illusion maybe? At its best, it is not consistently effective or sustainable. I would also say that this belief system leaves the vast majority of us feeling powerless!

Climbing the ladder of success? This is the one I believe to be the most addictive, the attempt to find a suitable place for ourselves within a hierarchy or ranking system. Could be in our neighborhood, could be in the PTA, could be at your place of business, or even within your family. Ranking or status can be based on wealth, prestige and physical attributes. Look at how we revere our athletes or education, a PhD behind your name, now there is power.

See if you recognize yourself just a little here ‘If I could just have some of these attributes like more education, more beauty or more money. I could have the power to control circumstances to my advantage; others will look up to me. I will feel happy and accepted.’

My definition of real power; Real power is about being able to transform results into a sustainable reality. It is also the capacity to translate your intention into reality. Webster’s definition which I also like… the ability to act or produce an effect.

Conventional power has us react to life in fear, seeking control, force or status, hiding behind all the things we are not, the notion or belief in conventional power is in and of itself what holds you back from experiencing real power.

We have all experienced real power before. Some of us daily, some of us have moments at a time and others of us even less often. Take a moment and remember your last experience of real power. What were the qualities or circumstances of that experience?

Real power is identifiable by its absence of fear.

• Imagine the power of someone who is no longer ruled by fear, someone who is, therefore, immune to manipulation and control by others, someone who has moved to a new level of awareness.
• Imagine the quiet confidence and power of someone who is no longer addicted to the approval and affirmation of others, someone who is in touch with his or her real self.
• Imagine that this person is whole and complete even without their job, or their family or their status.

Now imagine that this person with this quiet confidence, this person who no longer needs approval is you, think about it, what would life be like? What could you do in your business? Now imagine what you could do in your life!

Women-owned businesses seek ways to grow… About five years ago, I met Sharmila Melwani, mother of a toddler, who could whip up a batch of cookies so delicious she decided to make a business out of selling them. Like many moms, she launched her business from her home kitchen, but when things took off about six months later, she moved Cookies By Shar to a commercial kitchen in a Davie warehouse. Melwani loved the idea that she could earn money and still control her own work schedule. She began cranking out the cookies and continued to bake even during the recession, landing big accounts such as Epicure and Whole Foods in Florida. Earlier this year, Melwani moved the business to a new and larger commercial kitchen. She set new and larger goals as well. She wants to take her cookie business national and grow it into a million-dollar business. While the past decade saw women juggling responsibilities and priorities and starting business in record numbers, there’s a new focus going forward — growth. “You’re going to see a lot of programs and support to help women grow their small businesses into more significant businesses,” says Gwen Martin, interim director of the Center for Women’s Business Research. “That’s where the emphasis is going to be.” Getting to the next level, thus far, has proved difficult for women business owners. Women still are starting businesses at a faster rate than men. But only 3 percent of the 10 million women-owned businesses in the country have been able to break through the million-dollar revenue barrier, according to the Center for Women’s Business Research. That’s an insanely small percentage. Six percent of men-owned businesses are clearing the $1 million mark. Business experts believe many of the same factors that spark females to start a company are holding them back from expanding, for example work/life balance. Like Melwani, most still have many other demands on their time, particularly at home and in the community. And, there haven’t been a lot of role models, so many lack confidence or desire to make a leap. “There’s a big difference in starting a business and growing it,” Martin says. “Most don’t have the skills or knowledge of how to make that bridge.” BIG CONTRIBUTION In Florida, more than 700,000 women-owned businesses contribute as much as $125 billion to the state’s economy. Some are sizable. At least 50 of the women-led businesses are larger than $3 million in revenue. Even though the recession has challenged entrepreneurs, many feel that number can be even higher. Women are beginning to help each other. On the national front, Nell Merlino, founder of Count Me In, and the Make Mine A Million Dollar Business program, has made it a goal to pump up the sales volume of women-owned businesses. Her group is encouraging more of them to aim for the million-dollar mark or at least shoot for substantially larger revenue. Locally, The Commonwealth Institute South Florida studies women-led businesses and their leaders. The group discovered that women who want to grow their businesses want more forums to bounce ideas off their peers and it has created those opportunities. One of the most successful tools is coaching. Merlino says most of the women with multimillion-dollar businesses have had a coach guide them through the tough spots, someone to hold them accountable when they fall short of a goal. “Coaches help you tap into your own wisdom to figure out your next action or what’s getting in your way,” explains Alicia Marie, a business coach and consultant specializing in women-owned businesses. Another tool is learning to outsource and delegate, a solution to the work/life balance issues. Marie calls it “building a transition team.” Suggestions include bartering, hiring a college student, a professional accountant or asking your kids to pitch in. HIGH-END CLOTHING Kim Bolufe has owned three retail shops in South Florida for more than 15 years. Her stores sell stylish, high-end clothing. As buyers cut their shopping budgets, Bolufe finds herself traveling more to make better purchases and keep merchandise fresh. She also has closed a newly opened store in the Dadeland Mall. Bolufe says her goal is to not only weather the recession but to boost the revenue of the existing stores and her online business. She has strategically hired and trained managers to run operations while she’s on the road. “It’s important to delegate,” she says, but do it smartly. “Always know what’s going on.” To grow, experts advise women they must get a full picture of their financials. Martin says women have the ability to play a big role in the economic recovery. Already, they employ more than 13 million people and generate $1.9 trillion in revenue. She’s convinced those numbers will get larger in the next few years. “These are not just little businesses out of the home,” she says. “That’s not a bad image, but it’s not the only image.”